Wheel Of Fortune Hogwarts Style!
by Coral Grace
Summary: The Creevey brothers host a game of 'Wheel Of Fortune' where Snape is a contestent and Harry really wants him to win!


Disclaimer: all the characters belong to J.K. Rowling (though I wish I owned Snape) sigh

This is an edited version of the story set in Harry Potter's sixth year (written before HBP came out). To provide a bit of entertainment to the staff and students at Hogwarts, Dumbledore has allowed Colin and Dennis Creevey to host a game of 'Wheel Of Fortune'. Dumbledore insisted that the Professors be involved by being contestants. Professor Snape was especially reluctant, but finally agreed to participate after Dumbledore announced the winner would receive 200 points for their House. Enjoy!

(in crowd)

Hermione and Harry have just finished explaining to the pureblood witches and wizards around them exactly what 'Wheel Of Fortune' is.

Harry: _(muttering to Ron and Hermione)_ I know what the answer is

Hermione: How?

Harry: Colin couldn't resist telling me and I'm mighty glad he did.

Ron: Why is that?

Harry: _(evil grin)_ cos if Snape wins I'm gonna be extremely happy!

Ron and Hermione exchange puzzled look

Ron: er…mate…if Snape wins, Slytherin will overtake Gryffindor in the lead for the House Cup

Hermione: And why on earth would you want _Snape _to win?

Harry: _(patting an audio recording device lovingly, which works inside Hogwarts for the convenience of this story)_ Just wait and see…

Colin: Hello and welcome to the Great Hall, where today we will see an exciting game of…?

Crowd: WHEEL OF FORTUNE!

Colin: Right you are!

Dennis: Before we introduce our wonderful contestants, I'd like to introduce our…erm...letter-turn-over person…and it is none other than Gilderoy Lockhart!

Lockhart comes prancing out, sporting a sparling silver suit and freshly permed hair

Colin: And how is St Mungo's treating you these days, Professor Lockhart?

Lockhart: Yes, my name _is_ Gilderoy Lockhart!

Dennis: er…yeah…

Lockhart: I'm wearing a new tie!

Colin: Good for you, sir! Now I also have great pleasure in announcing that in our live audience, our Guest of Honour, Mr Harry Potter himself, is sitting in the front row! _(claps his hands excitedly)_

Gryffindors: yay!

Slytherins: Boo!

Harry: _(doesn't notice – he is still patting his audio recording device lovingly)_

Colin: And now I'd like to introduce our three fabulous contestants. All are staff from Hogwarts, vying for the 200 points that the winner will take away. Firstly, I'd like to introduce the head of Ravenclaw House, Professor Flitwick!

Ravenclaws: Yay!

Syltherins: Boo!

Dennis: How are you today, Professor?

Flitwick: Fine and dandy, Master Creevey!

Colin: And here is the head of Gryffindor House, Professor McGonagall!

Gryffindors: Yay!

Slytherins: Boo!

Dennis: How's life Professor?

McGonagall: Very good, thankyou

Colin: And last but certainly not least, at least in the eyes of some, is Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin House!

Slytherins: Yay!

Dennis: _(shaking)_ er..Hi, Professor

Snape: _(growls)_

Dennis: eh yah!

Hufflepuffs: _(muttering to each other)_ What about _our_ Head of House?

A nice Hufflepuff: It doesn't matter. Since we are a bunch of lovely people, we really don't mind!

Colin: um…And on with the show! We are only playing one round, Professors, so good luck! The puzzle is a phrase ..er…that I made up!

Lockhart makes a show of prancing around the wall with the letters he has to turn around

The formation looks like this:

Colin: Professor Flitwick is spinning the wheel first. Off you go

Flitwick: (_turns the wheel with a stick because he is too short)_

Dennis: for 200 galleons, what letter will you choose Professor?

Flitwick: G for generosity!

Colin: Sorry Professor, no Gs

McGonagall: _(spins wheel)_

Dennis: for 150 galleons?

McGonagall: R for riveting

Colin: Yes! There are three Rs! Lockhart? Lockhart? Earth to Lockhart? Turn round the letters!

Lockhart: _(looks up from filing his nails)_ Er, yes. _(turns around the letters saying 'Ding!' as he turns each one)_

# # RR # # # # # # R # # # # # # # # #

McGonagall: _(spins again)_

Dennis: for 100 galleons?

McGonagall: B for butter

Colin: Yes! There is one B!

Lockhart: Ding!

# #RR # # # # # # R # # # # # B # # #

McGonagall: _(spins again)_

Dennis: for 50 galleons?

McGonagall: H for Hard-working

Colin: Right you are! There are two Hs

Lockhart: Ding! Ding!

H #RR # # # # # # R # # # H # B # # #

Hermione: _(mutters to Harry and Ron) _I think I've solved it

Harry: _(kisses his audio recording device) _Excellent

McGonagall_: (spins again)_

Dennis: Oh no, Professor! Bankrupt!

McGonagall: _(mutters something only those nearby can identify as a curse)_

Snape: _(spins wheel)_

Colin: for 300 galleons, Professor?

Snape: T for turd

Dennis: Yes, there are four Ts!

Lockhart: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Snape: Shut up you imbecile!

Lockhart: _(sobs)_ My mum thinks I'm cool

H #RR # # # TT # R # # TH # B # # T

Snape: _(spins again)_

Dennis: for 300 galleons?

Snape: S for stupidity

Colin: There are two Ss sir!

Lockhart: _(sniffs)_ Dong! Dong!

H #RR # # # TT # R #S TH # B # ST

Snape: _(spins again)_

Dennis: for 400 galleons?

Snape: P for Pathetic

Colin: Yes indeedy! One P!

Lockhart: Dang!

H #RR # P# TT # R #S TH # B # ST

Harry: _(still patting audio recording device) Patience_ my pretty

Snape: _(spins again)_

Dennis: for 100 galleons?

Snape: Y for ytterbium (A/N no, this word is _not_ in my everyday vocabulary – I consulted a dictionary for an impressive Y word!)

Colin: Yes! One Y

Lockhart: Y for my _Youthful_ looks!

H #RRY P# TT # R #S TH # B # ST

Dennis: And that only leaves the vowels, Professor! So can you solve it?

Harry: _(jumps to attention and quickly turns the audio recording device on The moment has come…)_

Snape: Yes

Colin: …Well? What is it?

Snape: _(sneering)_ I do not wish to say it out loud

Dennis: But you have to say it out loud.

Dumbledore: _(stands up from somewhere in the audience) _You must solve it out loud, Severus, or we will pass to the next contestant

Colin: Remember, the prize is 200 points for your house…

Harry: _(whispering to himself)_ Come on, Professor…you can do it…

Snape: _(glaring at no one in particular) _Fine! _(Takes a deep breath)_ HarryPotteristhebest

Dennis: Er…what was that Professor?

Snape: _(shoots death glare at Dennis)_ I said…_(clenched teeth)_ Harry Potter is the best

Harry: _(switches off device and whoops with joy)_

Colin: You said it Professor! 200 points to Slytherin

Snape: _(flexes fingers, getting ready to strangle something)_

Slytherins: _(not cheering – looking stunned instead – they're not sure whether to cheer about the points or cry about what Snape just said about Potter)_

Lockhart: _(astonished) _Harry Potter? Does _he_ live here? Can I meet him? Oh _can_ I?

Dennis: And just for you, Professor, we have a basket full of the best smelling shampoos!

Snape: _(blinks)_ Shampoo?

Colin: yeah, shampoo. It's this stuff you put in your hair when it is wet to clean it-

Snape: I KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-POTTER-WORSHIPPING-DUNDERHEAD!

Colin: _(sniffs)_

One day later…

Everyone is in class, except Harry and Ron who are playing truant.

Ron: he! he! he ! he!

Harry: Ssh _(says 'Sonorus' to his wand, points it at his recording device and presses 'play')_

Suddenly a deep voice one can easily recognise as Snape's is echoing all over the castle

Voice: HARRY POTTER IS THE BEST

Professors and students look up from their work, puzzled

Harry and Ron: _(rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter)_

Dumbledore: _(in his office, wipes away a tear of laughter)_ Tee hee!

Suddenly from below in the dungeons, another 'Sonorus' is used

Snape: POTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The End


End file.
